Tired

I recently have been hospitalized thinking I was having heart problems. Well after extensive testing they found my heart to be fine but there is a growth of about 3cm in diameter on the upper part of my left lung... I am scared...not of death or what it might be ...not of cancer if that is what it may be... but I am scared that I cannot seem to get it right in my relationship with the woman I proclaim to love. I am sinking into a depressed vegetative state of mind and I am falling deeper everyday. I am all out of answers and trying to be happy and go lucky all the time is not really working either . I am ready to throw in the towel and say screw it ... I have failed and I will try to succeed later and move on ...yet I am not ready to do that so I am fighting and fighting but what am I fighting for?